I want to shine with Your Glory

The Lord asked me tonight "Who has your heart?"

It is an apt question to ask as well. Mainly because girls were created in this world for relationship. It is part and parcel of living for us. 

We talk about...people. We ask about...people. We try to help...people. LOL! You get the picture.

Our world is one that is full of the endless and exciting possibilities of what relationships can yield for us. 

Hence, whenever I meet up with a girlfriend, the unspoken rule when we ask "How are you?" is always in relation to one's relationships in their lives. We want to know if you are well and your supporting relationships are strong, and if we can do anything to help you plug that gap in any way.

This also means, that the matters of the heart are the first thing that is brought up in conversation. "Are you attached now?" , "How is your boyfriend?" or "Who has your fancy?" are common starters of conversation. 

So just like that, God knows the rules of engagement with women too and asked me tonight who held my heart. 

It was easy to answer Him tonight, but I pray that it is always this easy in the years to come. ^_^ 

When other opportunities present themselves to me and I shift my expectations around. I pray that my priorities will always be right. <3

Since i've found your love
I've never needed anything to fill my heart
Even when i fall
You're always there with open arms to pick me up
From the start i knew
No one else could make me feel the way you do
Everyday i want to grow
Just a little bit closer, just a little bit closer

I want to be a reflector
I want to shine with your glory
I want to let the whole world know that you're
Living in me

I want to burn with your fire
Shine my light a little brighter
I want to let the whole world know that
Jesus Lives in me

Faithful to the End

Verse 1:
I'll sing of the grace that I've found in You
And all that You've done
Through the power of the cross for me

Verse 2:
I'll sing of the mercy I've found in You
And all that You are
And the fullness of Your love for me


Chorus 1:
All that I have has come from Your hand
And all I ever know
Jesus, You are faithful to the end

Verse 3:
I'll tell of the wonders I've found in You
And the love that You've shown
That's higher than the heaven, burns me


Chorus 2:
All that I have has come from Your hand
And all I ever know
Jesus, You are faithful, You are
What in this world could take me from Your love
And all I ever know is
Jesus, You are faithful
And all I ever know is
Jesus, You are faithful to the end

I graduated tonight. 


But God, You were the One who brought me through it all. 


No matter where in this world you will send me, I will go- because this was Your best for me. And the Best is truly still yet to be. <3

You alone are worthy of all praise

This powerful song moved me to tears in Indonesia. Here is Sidney Mohede's write up:


"One of the hardest song for me to sing during the live recording on May 20th 2010, because of how much the song means to me. Wrote this song during a very rough season in my life many years ago. Grateful for His faithfulness and grace. I wrote the English translation so the non-Indonesians can understand the meaning of the song. This song features Andi Rianto, an amazing pianist, composer and producer in Indonesia. Be blessed!"





Hanya Kau tempat ku berlindung
Hanya Engkau laguku dan kekuatanku
Ijinkanlah kudatang menyembah
Membawa syukurku

Sedalamnya hatiku Kau-pun tahu
Dan kasih-Mu tak jauh dalam jiwaku
Didalam kesesakan
Didalam kemenangan
Kutau Engkau selalu bersamaku

English:
You alone are my only refuge
You alone are my song and my strength
Let me come before You in worship
And bring You my gratitude

The deepest part of my heart You know
And Your love is never far from my soul
In times of troubles
In times of victories
I know that You are always with me


It has been an amazing time in Indonesia. 


From reinforcing the idea that traffic is REALLY not my style (I fell asleep every single time I got into the car cause the traffic was nuts, e.g. flight from singapore to jakarta was 2 hours and the drive to cibubur 45 minutes usually by car took 3 hours +) to discovering what it is like to truly live by faith. 


Firstly, thank you for your prayers dearest loved ones. You can trade them for hugs and stories when we next meet. lol. (someone asked me what the exchange rate for one smiley was for those hugs. major LOL)  Your prayers are what kept me and my daddy as we ministered, gave me strength and also drew me closer towards Papa God. 

Second, is that jakarta is (still) very congested and a lot of activity occurs all around us. I was whisked to a house, dinner and then a praise and worship meeting at night on my first night into indonesia. The next day we were whisked off to another meeting in jakarta itself before heading back to cibubur. Daddy decided to let me get a full body massage here before the ministry of the upcoming days and the lady attending to me started speaking to me in korean. lol. After that, dad returned to the house to meet another pastor and they then had a celebration dinner for the host's wife, ibu pini and after eating, we were whisked off to ANOTHER meeting with a man and his business partner who were waiting on the Lord and we sought the guidance of the Lord. Then the nexr day we ministered to a lunch time meeting at a TV station in Jakarta, relocated to the main city itself and repeated the cycle of meetings and more meetings. Saturday daddy was off to Jakarta citiblessings for a seminar first and I joined him later on to share at the end of the class before speaking the 5pm youth service there. Sunday early morning call for daddy who was 2 hours away and being shuttled to two different churches to minister at. I was moved to the GBI nearest mangga dua (two mangoes, literally) shopping center to preach there. I had lunch with the pastors and then went to pick up pulut hitam from a lotte mart and then heading back to pack. Flew back today but almost missed our flight due to traffic. We reached the counter 5 minutes before it closed and managed to clear immigrations just as our plane arrived for boarding. HOME! <3

I really saw daddy's giftings and this trip reminded me of all the things that my family were called to do for Him. I really thank God for that. It helped me appreciate and understand daddy's situation and calling much more too. I also learnt about servant hood, being mainly cooped up in the same room as daddy for the whole trip plus the way in which the indonesian people treated him with respect and love. Made me look at how I treat others around me.


I have three highlights of my trip and maybe I'll tell it in the format of a short story. LOL. or in bullet point. Am really sleepy now and hope to be able to get up early in the a.m. and move about. =P

1. Meeting Pak John the Timorese King (tribal chief- he knows all the family clan names like the back of his hand) He moves in the prophetic just like me!!! hee hee. The funny thing about this "chance" encounter with him was that he doesn't speak english and I don't speak bahasa indonesia but we both started laughing and my spirit leapt when I shook hands with him. I heard the Holy Spirit whisper "powerful" in my ear before I knew about him and his position in Indonesia. A lot of cool stuff happened here in discussion -but you'd have to write me personally or meet me to hear about this. Thank you for interceding with me about my future, a lot of things have locked into place.

2. God asked someone to buy land and build a pool. like WHAT!?! haha. you'd think this was an ego trip- consumerist-materialist story, but uh-uh. This man had no cash to buy it, had to trust God for it and built the pool as ordered- only to be told that his house and pool is now in demand by the nearby churches for water baptisms cause indonesian christians cannot use public places to baptise their members. PRAISE GOD! =) His house is so lovely. If I wanted to own a house in south east asia, it'd be his. ^^ Where you can feel the palpable presence of God in the place. 

3. The Sunday Service. I found the ministry that appeals to my destiny and calling the most. Meeting with young people so on fire for God cause they have no other choice in life. Not only do they have nothing but NO ONE to rely on except God. The passion of these youths and their pastors to reach out and do great things for the Kingdom of God continuously, astounded me. They come from broken homes and families, have very little but dream to do very big things for God. And here is where the Holy Spirit moved. He told me five minutes before this service to chuck the message that was prepared and just share my life. 


I obeyed and the whole church ended up on their knees crying and in prayer. No hands were laid but deliverance was taking place, people were feeling the Holy Spirit and there was hope renewed. This is what the Lord was asking me to do. To be faithful in the small things and to just obey. 


I had the time just to hug some of the young girls afterwards (in keeping with women's ministry), many of whom broke down and cried uncontrollably just cause they could feel the Love of Papa God and the Holy Spirit's presence in my life. Praise God. If He had sent me here to come to only this one small church, I would've come. 

"Lord, I ask for the nations. To the ends of the earth I will go, as long as You are with me." 


Will share more when we catch up again. I love you intercessors, thank you for being faithful in prayer. My victories are also your victories, because you stood with me in battle. <3

Limited Connectivity here.

Hi loves,

I'm currently sitting in the church office of the Jakarta City Blessings church I will be sharing at this Saturday. Jakarta is hot. haha. 


I came in yesterday via the Soekarno Hatta International Airport and was then sent off to a house about 3 hours away. Attended my first church service at GBI Lewi last night and was immediately struck by the sincerity of the worship experienced there. Their heart's cry is "I can't live without You." and it is so apparent in the way in which people praise and pray here. It is very humbling.


Staying with daddy in one room; upper and lower bunks. LOL! back to the good ole family ministry days and I do not have internet connectivity nor a phone line so take it as another media fast- hahahahaha. Hopefully I get clear instructions too. =P 


God is good. Puji Tuhan. That is something that doesn't change. And I am learning more about faith than sharing anything at all. from the pastor of last night's church who had nothing and God told him to build a school and church auditorium that seats 1200 people... lol. and he started it in faith- He has more than enough now to cover all costs and he decided to sow into my daddy's life by paying for the plane ticket that brought daddy here. I love the hearts of the people here- Serve God by loving people and God will do the rest. Amen. <3


Other than this fact, I am experiencing 3 hour car rides everyday (Xp) and learning as much as I can about this land that God is also giving to me to steward. (I have to go learn bahasa and tagalog now, along with brushing up my korean...haha) Asia. 


The Word of the Lord is that He is pouring out His Holy Spirit upon Asia- and Indonesian churches get it. They are praying for days of Elijah to come back to this land. =) An interesting point to note while I prepared for this Saturday's message was this common thread:


GOD LIKES THEM YOUNG. lol!!!


Samuel was 7 when he heard the voice of God. 
David was 11 when he took up arms against Goliath. 
Solomon was 14 when he ascended the throne. 
Esther was 14 when she married (the sixty something I might add) King. 
Jeremiah was also exceedingly young. 
Jesus was 12 when he debated the pharisees and saduccees. haha. 


So guess what? It's not about your skill or ability- it's about your availability and how fast you surrender to the King of Kings. =)  "He uses the foolish to confound the wise" 


I'm excited, officially now. =) Please pray for my saturday and sunday services. Dad and I are preaching like a tag team- one service after another... and worship here is awesome. seriously. whether big or small churches or house groups- the hearts of the people I worship with are so tender and open to papa God. 


Oh and my hosts are bringing me to another full body massage later. =_=" haha. help!?! hahahaha. 


Anyway, May His Name be lifted High forever. Engkau Besar Serukan Hallelujah! Yesus yang Raja~ hee hee. 


p.s: SIT contacted me for an interview next Thursday. lol. pray for my future? ^^ 

By Faith

 kudos to my amie. thanks for this link. <3

Letter to my filippino seoulmates

I know this will be massively long, but bear with me- I'm (slightly) older so indulge me for the remainder of this note. [or only read it when you are crazy bored in ateneo, lol]

I thank God for each and everyone of you. You are all special to me because without you my "JTA" or exchange experience would have been very different. I'm so glad we are only 3 hours away from each other.

Perhaps only Minji and robyn know this, but I came to the philippines because I felt that I was needed here. One night I was praying and I heard "go to manila!", so I asked minji when were you guys free, booked a ticket and came. =S crazy right? But the more I live through life, the more I realise that it is the people whom God gave you that matters the most, no matter what you will do in life or where you will go. If you can "come home" to these people, you are so seriously (cerealously) blessed to have them in your life. Please never forget that. I felt so blessed to be a part of the ateneain branch of seoulmates.

I couldn't help but see and hear things while I was here this time around so I pray you will let me share some of the things on my heart with you. =)

1. Fears

The most common thing I heard from you guys was that there was a lot of uncertainty about the future. There was both a fear of success and a fear of failure that I heard amongst yourselves. Guess what? We all have that too, in different ways.

Some of us are afraid of taking the risk and seeking out our own way in life; of finding success, cause our default mode is "what if it fails?" We've never asked ourselves "what if it succeeds?" Then what? hahaha. It becomes a whole new ball game thereafter.We are afraid of the possibility of change. And that is normal. Being happy and content with what you have in the present will definitely allow you to transfer that to the future, if you do not become complacent with your success. 

Others among us are more afraid of what their past failures will do to their future. About whether or not they can match up to their own standards of themselves or what others think. =) You will realise in time that what others think doesn't really matter. It's what YOU think of others that does. So love yourselves first please *winks* learning about who you are, what it will take to make you the person you dream to become or learning how to treat yourself better will only serve to help you face your fears and overcome them. 

Like the Captain America trailer right? "A weak man knows the value of strength" - only when you are weak, then you are strong because you realise in that moment that "it can't get any more worse off than this, there is only one way-UP!" ^^

2. Love

Is the cornerstone of life and the community that you are so so so blessed to be in. In the craziness of life in ateneo. Please remember that you have each other's love (I don't mean it in a *hee hee CRUSH* kind of way) I mean it in the family that God gave you. You are all so wonderfully blessed to have each other. 

Once again there are two kinds of people:

- Those who love 

You are in a position to GIVE love and do it freely, what I have learnt is that when you give love without any conditions of receiving anything back, it comes back to you in ways in which you can never imagine.

"4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

You will find that in the end- love is about sacrifice. Of choosing to let the other person go and live their lives the way they want to. Because if you don't let them do it- it is selfish, unkind, envious, self seeking, easily angered... you get what I mean. =) And you can't CONTROL the other person. You can only LOVE them, so don't impose what you think should happen, but let the other person find it for themselves.

- Those who are loved

People who are loved, often know that they are. LOL! And guess what? You are the one in a position of power. As long as you know you are loved by someone you should always honour and protect the heart of the person who loves you. Never lead them on, never toy with their emotions and never give them false hope of anything you are not prepared to be responsible for. Rule of life- "what you sow, you will reap." It'll come back to haunt you.

People who are loved face the tempting possibility of manipulating the other person for situations and circumstances that allow them to feel good. Like sneaking an extra glance, hug, word, etc... You know how it is when you are liked/ loved by someone else.There is always the idea of "security" in their presence around you. It is one thing to be loved, but what if you were the one who was offering it? You'd want to be treated with the utmost dignity and respect as well. 

Always appreciate each other whether you are a giver or receiver of love.

* I also heard about some blue roses...you can always ship them here if you want! hahaha* 

3. Adventure

The last thing I wanted to say was this: You can't make JTA 2010 happen again. The "reality" and "truth" of the situations and circumstances were as it were last year. So you can't change the past unless someone invented a time machine and brought us all back there. 

BUT! You can keep the "passion" alive by always meeting up and treasuring your friendships (and for certain seoulmates *ahem* RELATIONSHIP "when the friendship gets deeper") and remembering to create NEW adventures and NEW experiences that you can share with these people for the rest of your lives. I agree with ryan about this- that if you aren't physically there beside one another, you'd be less likely to experience the same kind of growth. =)

So please stay close and grow TOGETHER, always honouring, loving and protecting each others' interests and heart. please stay away from "sayang" situations. lol. 

I promise I'll be back again someday.

mahal kita seoulmates. talaga. 

Remember I will always love and pray for you. 

Love, Mare

Wish you were here. =p

Tagaytay - Taal Lake.

"There is one thing that my heart desires of the Lord. Is to see the face of my beloved God. I long to be close to You all the days of my life. I desire to sit at Your feet and gaze upon the everlasting beauty of my God. To spend one day close to You is better than a thousand days out there. I will worship You Lord my love I bring. Lord I long to behold Your face. I will worship You Lord, adore my King. At Your feet is the most high place."

Need to be up at six a.m. Goodnight. ^^

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Man shall not live by bread alone

Yesterday's post: Good morning manila!!!

Esther is currently on a pesonal mission to the philippines cause i heard God say come. This is before formal ministry beginning wednesday in indonesia.

It appears as though the people that i love a lot- need a lot of love and prayer. It has been almost a year til the day we all met in Gonzaga Hall in Sogang University Korea and there has been a whole bunch of things that happened since then.

/edit: I think i want to fly at sunset. I realised why that i love this time of the day. The lovely purple sunset... The moon rising in the night sky... Was so weird... Lol. But very beautiful. I also saw a complete rainbow while flying out from singapore. Hahaha. My covenant keeper, He is. ^^

I took the time to read my bible onboard the flight and to re-copy out the passages of scripture that people gave me during this week. I also rewrote all my dreams again so that I could remember that they will come to pass. ^^ This helped me through two things- hunger because i did not have the cash to buy dinner on the budget airline. Lol! And two... Remind me of God's master plans for my life. I truly learnt in that moment what it was like when you are so enraptured with God that "man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God." =) Just before the plane landed I heard the Holy Spirit ask me once more "Queen esther what do you want?" So I asked that wherever my feet stepped would be given to me for ministry.

To my prayer warriors- I am staying with my korean exchange friend and her family. They are catholic and taking great care of me. I am sleeping on the floor in true korean style and had my first meal in philippines made up of bananas, tangerines and 서울우유!!! ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ my first words in the philippines was in korean to her dad "안녕하세요 아저씨" lol!!! Talk about being unable to escape destiny. Haha. ^^ i had a meaningful htht with her while trying to sleep the night before and she seems more strengthened by my presence here.



Today's post: yes amie, I got your smses and email. Lol. I just can't respond to either. My wireless signal here only lets me fb or blog and i disabled roaming.Haha. But I am encouraged that you are encouraged by my posts here too. To God be the Glory! ^^

Today was a super long day. I went to an ancient city in manila called intramuros and tim + chlory you would know what i mean by creepy when i stepped into the manila cathedral if you cross reference it with the church of the holy sepulchre in jerusalem. *shivers* But i learnt all about the history of this nation in this place. I LOVE the quaint spanish towns and buildings there. It was funny because a quiet morning/ afternoon exploring and semi baking in the sun turned into a full out celebration at this HUGE MEGA MALL called the "mall of asia". If you had read the latest blog post by jaeson ma, you would know the confirmation i also received that the Holy Spirit is moving in Asia. And remember what i asked for? Wherever my feet stepped on. Lol. I shall take this as a personal sign to me that God will give me Asia to reap for His kingdom. (I was also elated to discover breadtalk, ya kun kaya toast and.... Gong Cha!!!)

I met all my "kids" and spent time talking to them individually. I missed them so much. They call me "mareng esther" here which is somewhat like "mama esther". Lol. =_=" i know, i know chlory, dun start.I saw the sunset at the bay and had authentic filippino food today. Went to one of the guys' houses and they started playing rockband and drinking games.This is where you would think that God won't use you. But everywhere the world over, the two principalities that youths have to break out of is this: alcoholism and addiction to video games.

So I waited. And only sang songs that amie and ryan would sing...i.e. "Just the way you are". Hee hee. While i waited...the song on my blog came to me. And i realised i would serve Him then. What happened next broke my heart. Because of the alcohol... Most of them got drunk and the mareng had an instant ministry field. I had "kids" who were so lost without Christ that when they poured out their sorrows and what they had been through after exchange, my eyes welled up with tears. I almost lost a friend to suicide, two more to severe clinical depression and a couple more to accidents due to drunk driving.

They had no direction. And no hope. In that moment i thanked God for dealing wondrously with me after exchange. I thanked God for you. All i could do was hold them tight as they cried and cried to me about their lives. I prayed silently over them as they told me about their fears and openly told them to never do anything stupid cause they would hurt people who loved them- including me.

"Perfect love cast out all fear."

I was ministering tonight. Not in words or preaching to the thousands- but by lifestyle. No drop of alcohol, no word of evil passing my lips. Only Papa God's great love. And i cannot help but remember that "The greatest of these is love." it is true. You have no clue what you can do in people's lives. If only you just love them and accept them for who they are. ^^

Pray for me dearests. I have much work to do.

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I will go the distance

Once again, I'm leaving on a jet plane. On another adventure and have no clue what I'm doing-just obeying the voice of God and surrendering everything else in my life.

The Holy Spirit said "GO!" and so I am. ^_^ *pray for/ with me*

"Even though I can choose the path of least resistance, Father I will take the cross- I will go the distance."

/edit: met up with some girlfriends tonight and once again- it's amazing what He is doing. =) 


chlory gave me a verse in the car when she sent me home. ^_^


Jeremiah 1:7-10



 ⁷ But the LORD said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. ⁸ Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the LORD.
 ⁹ Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, “I have put my words in your mouth. ¹⁰ See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.”


Amen and amen. <3

Kings and Queens of Narnia

Ephesians 6:13
"Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to 
stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand."


One of my favourite battle scenes in the series. 


It really shows that when we have nothing, but our faith in "the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen..." that miracles happen. but only IF we will come to the King. =)





I also remember crying a whole lot through these two scenes while watching it with my family. (odd right, cry while watching a battle scene- but, its message was clear.) God is there even in the hopelessness of situations. 


And the King is able to do anything at all in our lives IF we shall stand and fight for Him. 


Goodnight Kings and Queens! 


More victories head our way! =) 


/edit: The Number One Hundred Twenty

The number one hundred twenty is made up of three forties (3x40=120). Applied to time therefore it signifies a divinely appointed period of probation, Genesis 6:3.

Applied to persons it points to a divinely appointed number during a period of waiting, Acts 1:15.

It is a factor also in the number of those who returned from Babylon, 42,360, being 120 x 353.

It is also a factor of the number of the men who went up out of Egypt, 600,000, being 120 x 5000.

It is a factor also of the 144,000 who will be sealed from the Twelve Tribes of Israel to go unscathed through the great tribulation, 144,000, being 120 x 1200.

Psalm 120: A song of ascents.

 ¹ I call on the LORD in my distress,
   and he answers me.
² Save me, LORD,
   from lying lips
   and from deceitful tongues.
 ³ What will he do to you,
   and what more besides,
   you deceitful tongue?
⁴ He will punish you with a warrior’s sharp arrows,
   with burning coals of the broom bush.
 ⁵ Woe to me that I dwell in Meshek,
   that I live among the tents of Kedar!
⁶ Too long have I lived
   among those who hate peace.
⁷ I am for peace;
   but when I speak, they are for war.

It's written in the stars that shine above

This song is taken off the soundtrack of "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of The Dawn Treader". Carrie co-wrote this song. She is such an inspiration to me for exalting Christ in everything that she does. 


It speaks volumes to me about my destiny in Christ. I hope the beautiful music, lyrics and imagery will evoke the same feelings and thoughts to spur you on. "We CAN be the Kings and Queens of anything as long as we believe. It's written in the stars that shine above." ^_^


I had an eventful two days this week- meeting up with as many people that I love as much as possible. 


And even some that I had not seen in ages. It just truly amazes me about what God can do with a life yielded to Him. 


I just returned from meeting with a guy friend of mine and  even though I hadn't spoken anything to him about God in my 4 plus hours of talking with him and his friends. He still texted me back about God blessing and keeping me on my journeys. =) I guess living a life filled with Love for Him overflows into love for others as well.^^ 


Earlier today I had brunch (?) with my favourite wagyu cow and berry innocent cow in Bugis where we are just so amazed at what God is doing in each other's lives. =) God is moving! 


My favourite wagyu cow tweeted this "Lunch with world famous, jet setting preacher friend @estherthm! (: " which was both funny and awesome at the same time. It's shocking because of what I had charted in my outline in living for Christ, which she had inadvertently confirmed. I claimed that confirmation over my life!


Last night also yielded something that I had known but was not consciously aware of- that the choice of waiting for the right people- man of God or friends, is definitely worth it. 


For the first point- like I have been telling my girls lately. Making the leap into "relationship" too soon without letting God be THE TIPPING POINT can bring you emotional and even physical satisfaction (learnt through experience) but will never bring you Peace. Where you KNOW that both of you CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT CHRIST and that the mission that God sends you both on is IDENTICAL and you know that you won't be able to complete it without this person in your life, this is the critical factor that waiting will allow you to assess. 


For the second point- I have had awesome friends, friends I've know for over 10 years, etc.. but.. the ones that God has connected me to recently- they are like the besties beyond my wildest dreams. I have never had so authentic, frank, mutually loving, giving and fulfilling friendships than the ones I have gained in the last 4 years in SMU. But they are all my God connections. Only He knits our hearts together. 


Stay strong and be of good courage fellow Kings and Queens! =) 


"Exactly who we are is just enough." <3 


I love you in the Love that Christ had for us-which is very much. ^_^ *hugs*

You inspire songs of praise

The sound of my Lover's name is beautiful and amazing.

Awesome and wonderful. <3

Morning devotion

These were my bible verses this morning-just confirmation of the conversation that I had with Him last night.


James 1:17-18

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁷ Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. ¹⁸ He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.


Praise the lord!!! ^^


/edit: excerpt about my King. 





The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe



"Ooh!" said Susan, "I'd thought he was a man. Is he quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion."

"That you will, dearie, and no mistake," said Mrs. Beaver, "if there's anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they're either braver than most or else silly."

"Then he isn't safe?" said Lucy.


"Safe?" said Mr. Beaver. "Don't you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you."

He isn't safe. 
When we become more and more like Him, neither will we. 
A walk of Faith is not safe. 
It is an adventure. 
One day everything we have done for Him will become clear. =)


1 Corinthians 13:
⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹² For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

Takeaway number 2- All that I want

This "retreat", I have been ministered to greatly by Planetshakers even as I sit waiting upon the Lord. 


It is truly amazing. In my first hour of shutting off from the outside world save for the worship music and this blog- I have been getting download after download, lesson after lesson, word upon word, vision upon vision.


And God has asked me tonight- what does ESTHER want? 


I answered "Just you, Lord". 


Then I realised I should have said "Wisdom, cause it's the principle thing." LOL.


But guess what? 


God asked me to outline my destiny for His Glory.


He's brought me back to the book of Esther and showed me this verse: 


Esther Chapter 5:
"¹Now it came to pass on the third day, that Esther put on her royal apparel, and stood in the inner court of the king's house, over against the king's house: and the king sat upon his royal throne in the royal house, over against the gate of the house.
 ²And it was so, when the king saw Esther the queen standing in the court, that she obtained favour in his sight: and the king held out to Esther the golden sceptre that was in his hand. So Esther drew near, and touched the top of the sceptre.
 ³Then said the king unto her, What wilt thou, queen Esther? and what is thy request? it shall be even given thee to the half of the kingdom." 


The King of Kings was asking me what I WANTED. 

WOW! 


Try this conversation sometime and see if you come to the same awestruck, dumbstruck part right now. =) 


"Then the king asked, “What is it, Queen Esther? What is your request? Even up to half the kingdom, it will be given you.”


*goosebumps*

First takeaway: Jesus Christ take my life- it's all for You

You will be utterly surprised at what God says to you in the moments when you lose yourself in Him.

I called and You answered. It's so simple.

Nothing else matters more to me in this life than hearing Your voice.

To those of you reading this:

Pray with me. For not only ourselves, but our families and friends- and our nations.

"Do not think that you alone will be preserved. For if you remain silent now, salvation and deliverance will arise from another source. But you and your father's household will be destroyed. For who knows that you have come into this position FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS" - Esther 4:14

Reformatting my Heartdrive

My facebook status reads:
Hi friends. I will be "disconnecting" for the next 48 hours. Going to take time out to "reformat" my life and also to seek God about my future. Will be blogging what I learn in this period of time, but will not respond to comments. If you need to contact me urgently, please feel free to give me a call. If not, I'll see you on facebook/ whatsapp/ email/ social media on 11th July. God bless and keep you always. ♥

For these next two days, I'll be going on a "world" fast. ^^

Everything that I usually am connected to, everything that lets me know about what others are up to- I will disconnect from just to spend time with the Lover of my soul.

I figured that this would then ensure that I'm not competing with anyone for status, recognition, salary or pride while making a decision for my work and job.But that I remember Who was the one who called me and gave me life, talents, skills to even do the work I do.

It will give me clarity on how to deal with issues in my family and the issues that my family need miracles for in this period of time.

This period of time will allow me to sit in my Father's arms and crave my Lover's hugs and whispered sweet nothings. Something that will give me the recharge that I so very badly need.

I am also taking time out to pray about a future relationship. One that has been prophesied and told to me many times recently. I was encouraged by two friends' relationship and what the gentleman wrote to his lady.

I echo his words "I have always been looking for the 'right one' to come into my life. But God was telling me to BE the 'right one' for somebody." And I agree that I'm going to yield to God to teach me this.



"In the quiet
In the stillness

I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored
When You call i won't refuse
Each new day again I'll choose

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

In the chaos in confusion
I know You're sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will
When You call I won't delay
This my song through all my days

All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope
All of my strength
All my delight is in You Lord
Forever more"

There are moments in my life where I am thankful for Godly counsel in the form of my beloved brothers and sisters that God has given to me.

They constantly stop me and check me.

Asking me questions such as:

"Between taking a horror job and being jobless what would you take?"
"Please be sure that what you're doing is what God is calling you to do."
"Are you reaching the right communities and people or are you doing it because YOU want to?"
"Why are you overworking yourself again? Isn't your health, family and spending time with God more important?"
"Do you have to solve ALL your family's problems?"
"Why are you not letting others love you?"

My old friends constantly tell me to "let go, and LIVE. FEEL. LOVE. and BE LOVED"

And I thank God for them.

It has been true that my life so far has been lived in a blur. Of constantly running on this treadmill of never ending "work" or so I chose to deceive myself into thinking.

I remember what someone told me "Work will always be around. There is no excuse for not eating or skipping a meal." (there is NO EXCUSE for not spending time with the One who loves me the most.)

What is Esther made up of? It's time to check my heart against His word.

For those of you who are reading this and are praying alongside me/ for me in this time, thank you. I appreciate it and thank you in advance (before I meet you to share, that is). =)

I have three questions I am bringing to God this time around:
1. What job, Lord? What future?
2. My family.
3. Relationship.

As the Lord answers- and I know He will, I will update them here so that you will be able to walk beside me through these answers. I love you my dearest treasures (on this Earth)

Remember that there is One who has loved you more than life and who is waiting for you to come running into His arms.

 Just as I am running to Him today. =)