What's it all about?

What's it all about
Alfie
Is it just for the moment we live
What's it all about
When you sort it out
Alfie
Are we meant to take more than we give
Or are we meant to be kind
And if only fools are kind
Alfie
Then I guess
It is wise to be cruel
And if life belongs
Only to the strong
Alfie
What will you lend on
An old golden rule
As sure as I believe
There's a heaven above
Alfie
I know there's something much more
Something even non-believers
Can believe in
I believe in love
Alfie
Without true love you just exist
Alfie
Until you find the love you've missed
You're nothing
Alfie....
When you walk let your heart lead the way
And you'll find love any day
Alfie...

I need that time.

Alone.

To think.

By a sea.

On a mountain.

Anywhere but here.

Help.

I'm losing this battle.

But I am the only one.

Who can face this.

Oh no.

Break my heart for what breaks Yours

tonight, the 9th July 2009 is a historic night for me.

I stood tonight looking at these 12 men whom God personally called and was totally awestruck. I stood there fighting back tears as the plans of the Lord for their lives unfurled before my very eyes.

all the work, the calling, emailing, arranging, talking, heartaches, quarrels, frustration, tears...it was all worth it, even if we're only halfway there.

when you look at things in perspective, you realise everything is so small compared to the big God we serve.

look at all the things that we've accomplished so far. look at how far God has brought us and where we came from. truly amazing.

O Lord, you take my breath away.

"Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done. On earth as it is in heaven"

Today is but the beginning.

Everything I am for your Kingdom's cause

ARGGGGGH

I honestly want to know what is it that I've done to warrant such treatment?

YOU ASKED ME TO FORGIVE. I did.

YOU ASKED ME TO LOVE. I did.

YOU ASKED ME TO BE PATIENT WITH THIS ONE. I was.

So what in all of that deserved a response so full of disrespect?

If I had wanted to condemn him or put him down. Couldn't I have done it all of two years now?

Why would I want to jeopardise something so important to the heart of God just so I could mutter some careless whisper or word that would've made me feel happy?

Is that in my character? Would I do that to people? Why should I want to tear someone down after all the time I spent building him up?

You mean you have the right to say what you want about my father's ministry, question his motives, question his calling, question mine, question everyone's but those whom you deem "impressive" and scream at me infront of a hall full of people, and I don't have the right to some diginity or respect as an individual?

These are PEOPLE I LOVE dangit. I can take a lot. I AM LONG SUFFERING. But I also have boundaries. I have limits. I'm human. I love, I laugh but I most certainly CRY. Even if you don't like it.

OF ALL PEOPLE, you should know. I love you like MY OWN FAMILY.

My only questions were: Do you know you're called? Do you know it's the season? Do you think you're capable of leading all these people?

I ask the same way you ask of others. So how is that condemnation?

So guess what sir, I give up. If the Holy Spirit called you to it. He'll finish the work. I can't go on like this anymore.

I... am going to walk away.