While I'm Waiting

Since change is the only constant in this world (I mean beside God being our constant), today's blog post will be in a form of a convo between me and my bestie. LOL.


I am not perfect and I am still learning. But "I will serve you while I'm waiting". And will share my struggles openly so that you can pray with me too. <3 


Me: Oh man. I need to learn patience. Lol. After just one day of not doing anything productive, I feel...USELESS and mang zhang. Talk about faith to wait right now. What a difference 24 hours and hormones can do to me.


T: Hehe. Yeah, don't be. Don't beat yourself up and just live day by day. As long as we are still in the flesh, we will have our ups and downs. If walking by faith is easy, everyone would be moving mountains by now. =)


Me: Remember that I am high energy and I need to be DOING something *sighs* I realised what a workaholic I am/ was...These moments of waiting cause me to reflect that I need to be less "kan chiong spider". Lol. I dun want to be like the sarah of old and cause the middle east crisis of today. 


T: Yeah, haha. sarah of old. Yes, please don't.


Me: I know. It's so hard to keep still though. Lol. Been trying. I had lunch with friends and professor today and he was telling me that this is good. "Breaking my addiction" to work. I hadn't realised it. 


T: Well, what do you think God is putting you through now? What is your season? My dad shared that waiting is not easy. Waiting on the Lord is not easy but it is essential. At some point in our lives we will be placed in a waiting season. Sometimes God is teaching us to be like Mary and not Martha. Well, didn't you enjoy just spending time with your BFF (the Holy Spirit)? Maybe this is the time He wants you to do so. So don't just sit around waiting. Sit at His feet while waiting. It makes a lot of difference. 


Me: Actually I KNOW He wants me to wait. It is just me struggling against human desires. Cause I can hear His voice and I know His plans for my future. But now the wait is for the "How to" part. And I DO enjoy spending time with my BFF. It is when I meet all my friends who are being "constructive" in their jobs, etc that I become "competitive" and mang zhang. 


T: That's the system of the world and they are a part of it. Being at work = being constructive is an illusion. Instead go back to the very reason of your existence. It's funny sometimes how I would like to be in your shoes and not be so busy with work. Take this piece of advice from me. Enjoy your free time that you have with Him and yourself cause once you start working or when God sends you out again, you are going to miss it. 


Me: I know. I need to rest and I need to wait. =P. 


T: Hehe. Yeaps. I pray that "The Lord direct your heart into the love of God, and into the patient waiting for Christ" 2 Thessalonians 2:13


Me: This is a year where God is training me. And I am okay with that. It is just that what drives me in life is meaningful work...impacting and influencing others and I guess that is something He is asking from me too. To surrender even that. 


T: Yeah, interestingly what drives you drives me too. Are twins from a different mother? o.O


Me: No, you forgot. Same Father. =)


T: Haha. Good one. Indeed we come from the same Father. I know in time God will put me to the waiting season too. Now it's yours to wait. 


Me: But I never ask for it one. It seems that I am always put into some kind of management training schemes...even with God. E.g. How to manage my life, emotions, family, friends...I have had to give up all and everything.  


T: Yeah God has a great plan for you. He tests and chastises His beloved Sons and daughters even more so that they can be matured and ready. 


Me: I was just feeling that the right job with the right job description is still not ready yet. 


T: Yeah and definitely not the artistes management program. o.O 
Don't rush into it. Don't feel compelled to do so too, remember what happened with the previous contract... God will open the door and show you the way. 


Thanks. I needed to hear this. To be reminded. Lest I forget His faithfulness to me. (and yes, you're officially on my blog- but encoded. LOL!)