I just call you mine

 *30th August 2011- 31st August 2011*


Song of Solomon 1: 1-2 "The song of songs, which is Solomon's.
 ²Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine."

I love you.

At Your Feet

"Good morning Holy Spirit!"
"Come away with me, love. Come spend time with me."


(Song of Solomon 2:10) My lover spoke and said to me, "Arise my darling, my beautiful one and come with me."


The best of life for me is at Your Feet. <3




Let the world fade away, I need to be alone
Simply fall on my face, here before Your throne
Father find me now as I bow

At Your feet, I sing to who You are
At Your feet, I offer all my heart
At Your feet it's You that I adore
I worship You, my Lord
The best of life for me is at Your feet.

Lord for all You have done, and how You set me free
Words of gratitude rise up, right here on my knees
Praises overflow from my soul

Holy, Mighty, Worthy is the Lamb 




Edit/ God has asked us to wait on Him. So even if I am uncertain and unsure about what the future holds for me, He has asked me to trust in Him for He knows my heart, hopes and dreams the best. He knows me. I am taking the plunge with God and asking Him to show me what to do about the answers to my three questions that I lay at his feet in July and His answer to me? (refer to below)  


(1 Corinthians 13: 4- 7) Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Journey to the past

I think God really wants GIG and I to spend time together. LOL. =)


Thanks for being my source of books. <3 And a great encourager, and awesome prayer partner and for being the only other girl who seems to think like me. hahaha. 


"If my life is broken when given to Jesus, it is because pieces will feed a multitude, while a loaf will satisfy only a little lad." - Ruth Stull, Peru "Passion and Purity"


Today I learnt that love is powerful. "Perfect Love casts out all fear". I was able to accept being loved- For the first time ever. God had to work on me for a full year before coming to today. 


It came from the revelation that waiting upon the Lord and "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you" was truly right. Waiting, my dear friends is indeed worth it cause God will continue to surprise you all the time. 


"Waiting means-
steadfastness, that is holding on;
patience, that is holding back;
expectancy, that is holding the face up;
obedience, that is holding one's self in readiness to go or do;
listening, that is holding quiet and still so as to hear. 


How long Lord, must I wait?
Never mind child, Trust Me." 
-S.D Gordon "Quiet Talks on Prayer"


I hope to be able to share more with you as this journey continues. How apt that it is a "journey to the past" for me to learn to break down, let go, heal...in order to move forward. 


"Waiting silently is the hardest thing of all. But the things that we feel most deeply, we ought to learn to be silent about it, at least until we have talked them over thoroughly with God." - Passion and Purity


All I can say is that God is cheeky, is the master matchmaker and has great plans for you. I have seen His faithfulness to me, in His secret codes with me. He slowly breaks them over the years and meets me in adventures that I never expected.


Thank you for taking that risk and initiating God's love (and yours) towards me. You are a strong and unbelievably courageous person to do that. To a girl who is still hurting and learning how to accept love and love herself as she loves others, being so patient and gentle with my heart... It really took me this long to accept that every small action and thing you have done so far, every word you have said to me- has helped me heal from the wounds inflicted on me in my past and fall hopelessly and deliriously in love with our King. I still cannot believe that you are in my life and what you see in me - I find myself thinking (often) if this is too good to be true. I know you love challenges and I am afraid you have a really big one ahead of you in me, cause of the complexities that used to help me hold my life together that I have to unlearn and my secret codes with God. But I am learning to surrender all and trust Him with you because of your bravery and in response I pray He teaches me daily, one step at a time. 


Stay safe in His arms everyone! Hugs. <3

Beauty to unveil

GIG, I major laughed at the first line of the song. ^_^





I’m saying sorry in advance cos this won’t always go to plan
Though we don’t mean to take our love for granted
It's in our nature to forget what matters

How when the going is getting tough
And we’re all about giving up
Things that we never thought we’d say, gonna say them
Games that we never thought we’d play, gonna play them

It ain’t perfect, but it’s worth it
And it’s always getting better
It’s gonna take some time to get it right

Cause I’m still learning the art of love
I’m still trying to not mess up
So whenever I stumble let me know
You need to spell it out
You need to spell it out
You need to spell it out
You need to spell it out for me
Cause I’m still trying to learn the art of love

If I forget to get the door
Remind you that you’re beautiful
I know my detail requires more attention
If I ever hurt you it’s not my intention

Cause we’re gonna make our mistakes
Find out how much your heart can take
But I know that you got my back
And baby I got yours

Cause I’m still learning the art of love
I’m still trying to not mess up
So whenever I stumble let me know
You need to spell it out
You need to spell it out
You need to spell it out
You need to spell it out for me
Cause I'm still trying to learn the art of love

Sometimes I’m gonna miss
I’m still learning how to give
I’m not giving up
I’m still learning how to love
Learning how to love…
Learning how to love

Cause I’m still learning the art of love
I’m still trying to not mess up
So whenever I stumble let me know
You need to spell it out
You need to spell it out
You need to spell it out
You need to spell it out for me
Cause I'm still trying to learn the art of love
(The art of love)

Still learning (art of love)
Still learning (art of love)
Still learning (art of love)
Still trying to learn the art of love
Still learning, I'm still learning (art of love)
Still learning (art of love)
I'm gonna get it sometimes, cause I'm still learning
Still learning (art of love)
Still learning (art of love)
Still learning (art of love)
The art art of love

Aiyo. I don't even know where to start. "Captivating" is an amazing book; filled with the author's honesty and words of the Holy Spirit. Reading it has been wonderful and healing...but when it is understood and used by the right people as a tool to minister it is amplified a whole lot more.

I was sharing my favourite chapter in the whole book with bestie tonight and to help me remember God's goodness to me, I will type it out here:

The essence of a man
The essence of a man is strength. A man is meant to be the incarnation- our experience in human form- of our warrior God. A God who comes through for us. 


"Who is this coming from Edom, from Bozrah, with his garments stained crimson? Who is this robed in splendour, striding forward in the greatness of his strength? 'It is I, speaking in righteousness, mighty to save.'" (Isa 63:1)


To experience the strength of a man is to have him speak on our behalf. For when men abuse with words, we are pierced. Their strength has wounded us. When they are silent, we are starved. They have offered no strength; they have abandoned us. But when they speak with us, hear us, offer their words to us and on our behalf, something in our hearts is able to rest. "How are you?" is one of the simplest and most loving questions John ever asks me. 


We long for the protection masculine strength offers. To have them shield us from physical harm, yes. But to also have them shield us from emotional harm and spiritual attack. To intercede for us in a relationship which has become hurtful. A friend was being verbally abused and manipulated by her mother over the phone, repeatedly. Finally, one night her husband took the phone and spoke to her mother. "You cannot talk to my wife this way. I will not allow it. You may not call again until you are ready to be kind." He did for her what she was, at that time unable to do for herself and she was grateful. 


As women we long for someone strong to stand between us and the vicious assaults of our Enemy. One weary night I had gone to bed early, overcome with a sense of despair and hopelessness. I felt pounded down, beyond saving, and worthy of condemnation. I lay still, engulfed in grief. Suddenly, John was at my bedside. He was angry, but not at me. John recognised the hand of our enemy. He began to take authority over me as my husband and forcefully commanded the minions of Satan to release me; he commanded them to be silent, and sent them to the throne of Jesus for judgment. When he began to pray for me, I was embarrassed, when he continued I began to feel lighter. When he finished, tears were streaming down my face and my hands were raised to God in Holy gratitude and joyful worship. I had gone to bed filled with unrelenting sorrow. I ended the night belting out heartfelt songs of praise. 


Strength is what the world longs to experience from a man. Now-isn't it obvious that we don't mean big muscles? Of course a man might like to work out at the gym, but if he is only physically strong, he is a hollow man. Are we satisfied as a woman with that kind of man? On the other hand, our man might prefer to read or play an instrument. Does that in any way diminish the strength of his soul? Not at all. The strength of a man is first a soulish strength- a strength of heart. And yes, as he lives it out, owns it, inhabits his strength, he does become more handsome. More attractive. As the fruit of an inner reality. 


So then you can see that when we speak about the essence of a woman-we don't mean "the perfect figure". The beauty of a woman is first a soulish beauty. We know- it's a harder jump to make. We've lived so long under the pressure to be beautiful. But stay with the thought for a moment, because it will really help. The beauty of a woman is first a soulful beauty. And yes, as we live it out, own it, inhabit our beauty, we do become more lovely, more alluring. Our true self becomes reflected in our appearance. But it flows from the inside out. 


The essence of a woman:
The essence of a woman is beauty. She is meant to be the incarnation -our experience in human form-of a captivating God. A God who invites us. 


"Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters. Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare." (Isa 55:1-2)


"You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace... you are a garden fountain, a well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon." (Song of Solomon 4:9,15)


Beauty is what the world longs to experience from a woman. We know that. Somewhere down deep, we know it to be true. Most of our shame comes from this knowing and feeling that we have failed here. So listen to this: beauty is an essence that dwells in every woman. It was given to her by God. It was given to you. 


Surely you would agree that God is nothing if not beautiful. All around us God's creation shouts of his beauty and his goodness. The silhouette of lace on a barren tree draped with ice, the rays of sun streaming forth from a billowing cloud, the sound of a brook trickling over smooth stones...The coming of spring after a hard winter is almost too glorious for a soul to bear. God's beauty is lavished on the world. 


Beauty is powerful. Beauty may be the most powerful thing on earth. Beauty speaks. Beauty invites. Beauty nourishes. Beauty comforts. beauty inspires. Beauty is transcendent. Beauty draws us to God. As Simone Weil wrote "the beauty of the world us almost the only way by which we can allow God to penetrate us...Beauty captivates the senses in order to obtain permission to pass through to the soul...The soul's inclination to love beauty is the trap God most frequently uses in order to win it. 


God has this beauty to eve, to every woman. beauty is core to a woman- who she is and what she longs to be- and one of the most glorious ways we bear the image of God in a broken and often ugly world. It's messy to talk about. It's mysterious. And that should not surprise us. Women are creatures of great mystery; not problems to be solved by mysteries to be enjoyed. And that too, is part of her glory. 


Beauty flows from a heart at rest
There are women whose beauty impresses but it does not invite, when you are with her, your heart does not rest. The reason is simple: she is striving. She is a perfectionist and her beauty feels tenuous, shaky. It is not flowing from her heart. It's almost as if it's forced, from the outside, through discipline and fear. 


June is one of the most beautiful women we have ever met. We encountered her a few years ago while doing a retreat on the coast of North Carolina. Her hair was long, swept up loosely and held by decorative combs.Her eyes sparkled when she laughed, which she did often, and her smile lit up the room. She was clearly in love with her husband, her face adoring as she gazed at him. June was at rest with herself, at home in who she was. Talking with her, just being with her, made us feel more at rest with ourselves as well. Her spacious, beautiful soul invited others to come, to be, to taste and see that the Lord is good, whatever was happening in your life. She wept at the retreat. She laughed at the retreat. She was gloriously alive and in love, both with her husband and with the God of the universe. And June was about seventy five years old. 


Beauty indwells in every woman. We've seen it so many times, like a shy doe, it reveals itself for a moment, then fades back into cover. Usually it comes when she doesn't it, when she isn't trying to make it come. Rather something is happening that allows her defences to come down for a moment. For instance, when someone is listening. She knows that she matters. Someone cares about her heart, wants to know her. Her beauty emerges as if from a veil.So the choice a woman makes is not to conjure beauty, but to let her defences down. To choose to set aside her normal means of survival and just let her heart show up. Beauty comes with it. 


To have a gentle and quiet spirit is to have a heart of faith, a heart that trusts in God, a spirit that has been quieted by His love and filled with His peace. Not a heart that is striving and restless. A woman in her glory, a woman of beauty, is a woman who is not striving to become beautiful or worthy or enough. She knows in her queit center where God dwells that he finds her beautiful, has deemed her worthy and in him she is enough. A woman of true beauty is a woman who in the depths of her soul is at rest, trusting God because she has come to know him to be worthy of her trust. She exudes a sense of calm, a sense of rest, and invites those around her to rest as well. She speaks comfort; she knows that we live in a world at war, that we have a vicious enemy and our journey is through a broken world. But she also knows that because of God, all is well, that all will be well. A woman of true beauty offers others the grace to be and the room to become. In her presence, we can release the tension and pressure that so often grips our hearts. We can also breathe in the truth that God loves us and He is good. It is one of life's greatest gifts.


A woman who is hiding invites others to do the same. "Don't be vulnerable. Hide yourself" A woman who makes herself vulnerable and available for intimacy invites others to do the same. After all, Eve is the incarnation of the heart of God for intimacy. She says to the world, through her invitation to relationship" You are wanted here. We want to know you. Come in. Share yourself. Be enjoyed. Enjoy me as I share myself." A woman who is controlling cannot invite others to rest, to be known. It won't feel safe there. 


A woman who is unveiling her beauty is inviting others to life. She risks being vulnerable; exposing her true heart and inviting others to share theirs. You see, ultimately a woman invites us to know God. To experience through her that God is merciful. That He is tender and kind. That God longs for us- to be known by us and to know us. She invites us to experience that God is good, deep, lovely, alluring, captivating. 


Of course it feels risky
The scariest thing for a man is to offer his strength in situations where he doesn't know if it will make any difference. Or worse, that he will fail. Remember a man's deepest question is "Do I have what it takes?" Failure says "no" and that is why most men avoid any situation where they might fail. They fear exposure. They fear it will be discovered that they are not a man. A man's basic sin is his choice to offer strength only in those situations where he knows things will go well. And so repentance for a man is entering into the very situations that he fears and offering his strength anyway. 


In the same way, the scariest thing for women is to offer our beauty into situations where we don't know if it will make any difference. Or worse, that we will be rejected. For our question is "Am I lovely?" And to be rejected is to hear a resounding "no". A woman doesn't want to offer her beauty unless she is guaranteed that it will be well received. But life offers no such guarantees. We too must take risks. 


We have all heard it said that a woman is most beautiful when she is in love. It's true. You've seen it yourself. When a woman knows that she is loved, and loved deeply, she glows from the inside. This radiance stems from a heart that has had its deepest questions answered "Am I lovely? Am I worth fighting for? Have I been and will I continue to be romanced?" When these questions are answered, yes, a restful quiet spirit settles in a woman's heart. 


And every woman can have these questions answered. Yes. You have been and you will continue to be romanced all your life. Yes, our God finds you lovely. Jesus has moved Heaven and earth to win you for himself. He will not rest until you are completely His. The King is enthralled by your beauty. He finds you captivating. Beauty flows from a heart that is alive. 

Divine Connection

^_^

 I just thought that this was representative of  "picking up the call for intercession".


(and also really cute)

I had an interesting discussion lately about living with the end in mind. If you KNEW what was coming, you'd be living your life to the maximum. You'd be doing things that mattered WITH the people that mattered to you. And your life would gain purpose, passion and a whole different perspective. As bestie says "you'd live with no regrets." =)

I had that lesson taught to me recently. And it is amazing, to say the least. I will never be able to deny God's presence in my life BECAUSE He is so real to me. And I don't think I can ever turn back from loving deeper, speaking sweeter and giving forgiveness that I'd been denying... cause you'd realise this; things that used to be important suddenly lose the shimmer and shine in the shadow of what is eternal, "whatever is pure, whatever is beautiful, whatever is just..." 

These last two weeks required that I put my whole being on the line. Required me to demand more of God than I have ever done before, required me to live on the edge of my seat, stretch my faith, put my heart on the line...and listen to the voice of my Lover. I can assure you that you'll never turn back when you meet God this way. You'll never be the same when He proves to you that He loves you and the shock of that resonates through every fibre of your being. 

"I LOVE YOU" 

Three simple words. 

Three simple words that is the key to unlocking the Kingdom of God. 

"For God so LOVED the world that He gave His only begotten Son for whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life."

"In the end only these three things remain. Faith, Hope and LOVE. But the Greatest of these is LOVE."

"A new commandment I give unto you; that you LOVE one another as I have LOVED you. By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have LOVE one for another."

"There is no greater commandment than this. 'LOVE the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind and with all your spirit. And LOVE your neighbour as yourself."

God calls us Son and Daughter, Kings and Queens. But He also calls us friend and LOVER. Why did He have to include a whole book (Song of Songs) that talks about the most intimate kind of love between that of lovers? Cause He knows that this is something that every single believer struggles with accepting. 

Unconditional Love.

Love that fills and fulfills. Love that gives us back our strength and our beauty. Love that ministers to the very heart of our Father. Intimacy. Falling in love with Jesus means falling in love with people. lol. It is part of his commandment. It means learning to love your neighbour as YOURSELF. It requires us to be challenged to learn to accept ourselves and others unconditionally. Despite character/ physical flaws... and just to love them and ourselves. 


To love at all is to be vulnerable.

Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken.

If you want to make sure of keeping it intact,

you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal.

Wrap it careful round with hobbies and little luxuries;

avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.

But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless- it will change.

It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable...

The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers of Love, is Hell.

- C.S Lewis, The Four Loves

In the end, truly only love matters. And I thank God that the adventure has only begun. 

Verse 1
He said I was in my early forties, with a lot of life before me
And one moment came that stopped me on a dime
I spent most of the next days, looking at the x-rays
Talking bout' the options and talking bout' sweet times.
I asked him when it sank in, that this might really be the real end
How's it hit 'cha when you get that kind of news?
Man what did ya do?
He said

Chorus
I went skydiving
I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu
And I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denyin'
And he said some day I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin'

Verse 2
He said I was finally the husband, that most the time I wasn't
And I became a friend, a friend would like to have
And all of a sudden goin' fishin, wasn't such an imposition
And I went three times that year I lost my dad
Well I finally read the good book, and I took a good long hard look
At what I'd do if I could do it all again
And then

Chorus
I went skydiving
I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Shu
And I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denyin'
And he said some day I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin'

Bridge
Like tomorrow was the end
And ya got eternity to think about what to do with it
What should you do with it
What can I do with it
What would I do with it

Skydiving
I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu
And man I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I watched an eagle as it was flyin'
And he said some day I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin'

It has begun

Lord keep me sensitive to You this 48 hours. Please keep me sharp.

And protect my loved ones, Papa God.

A quote I extracted from captivated (yes i am still reading this book)

"Any idiot can face a crisis. It's the day to day living that wears you out." -Chekhov

"Somehow, somewhere between our youth and yesterday, efficiency has taken the place of adventure."

Help me to be unafraid.

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My life is in your hands

Hello lovelies, 


as I'm in Malaysia til Thursday, I thought I'd encourage you in any way I can. This is one of the most beautiful songs I have heard and I pray that it uplifts you even as it has encouraged me. 


I have much to update about but this is just a picture to remind me of today. Am spending time with my family. So please call me if you have an emergency. Or email me in the meantime. It should not be that difficult to find internet.


And also, stay away from the coast of Singapore on the 23rd and 24th August please. Just trust me on this one. And pray for our land. 


I love you all very much! ^^


reminder for bestie: kebabs and curries *echo*

You don't have to worry
And don't you be afraid,
Joy comes in the morning,
Troubles they don't last always.

For there's a friend in Jesus,
Who will wipe your tears away,
And if your heart is broken,
Just lift your hands and say

[Chorus]
Oh, I know that I can make it,
I know that I can stand;
No matter what may come my way,
My life is in Your hands.

You don't have to worry
And don't you be afraid,
Joy comes in the morning,
Troubles they don't last always.

For there's a friend in Jesus,
Who will wipe your tears away,
And if your heart is broken,
Just lift your hands and say

[Chorus]
Oh, I know that I can make it,
I know that I can stand;
No matter what may come my way,
My life is in Your hands.

With Jesus I can take it,
With Him I know I can stand;
No matter what may come my way,
My life is in Your hands.

So when your test and trials,
They seem to get you down,
And all your friends and loved ones
Are nowhere to be found.

Remember there's a friend named Jesus,
Who will wipe your tears away,
And if your heart is broken,
Just lift your hands and say

[Chorus x3]
Oh, I know that I can make it,
I know that I can stand;
No matter what may come my way,
My life is in Your hands.

With Jesus I can take it,
With Him I know I can stand;
No matter what may come my way,
My life is in Your hands.

My life is in Your hands.
My life is in Your hands.
My life is in Your hands.

I need You once again

Lord, today I need Your courage and Your strength to face my fears.

I won't run away and hide again.

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S.O.S

주님의 체발 터와추세요!!!

Dear Lord, we need you to help us!

Save our Singapore.

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An adventure to share

I made a discovery about myself today.
I become increasingly mang zhang if I don't spend enough time with God everyday. LOL. =_="
But it's the truth. I am helpless without God filling me with His Love and the Holy Spirit flooding my life with passion. And it has become increasingly apparent that I need Him more and more everyday. 


My hunger and thirst for Him has increased exponentially in these last few weeks and I desperately need Him to a part of my daily decisions.


I realised also the sensitivity to which God has increased in me- and it kinda shocked me today. From a cranky cab driver (whom God showed me that he was involved with a fight with his wife and the words they were shouting at each other *before picking my mum and I up*) to the random person who walks past me, the Holy Spirit just lay his life bare before my spiritual eyes.


The important thing, I realise is to acknowledge that you lack wisdom in handling this. And that you need God's love in order to intercede for these people. Living this life without God is really too much for a normal human being to handle; I realise that without "Christ, the hope of Glory." People really do walk around helpless. 





I wasn't created to live this life alone
Made for Your glory I am not my own
Lord Your strength is made perfect in me
So I'll boast in the weakness I see

I am helpless helpless
And my heart is crying out for You
Jesus without Your presence
There is nothing I can do
I'm helpless without You

Lord in myself I am not enough
I need Your Spirit fill me with Your love
All I am and all that I do
Means nothing at all without You



#RT @ Jaeson Ma "Life is an adventure worth living. When you have tasted what's BEST, you won't desire what's GOOD. Knowing God is better than anything else this world could ever offer." 


So I came home and am now spending time chilling with my Captivating book, worship music, nice scents, my bed and the wonderful companionship of the Holy Spirit- thanking Him for everything He has given me in life and also for today. =) 


I guess I'm doing a series on Captivating for my dear sisters (and brothers) who read this blog (thank you for your texts, emails, facebook messages and comments friends, they encourage me to continue blogging and sharing about my walk with the Lord) 

An Adventure to share

While Eve has a glory for relationship, that is not all she is essential for. Back in Genesis, when God sets his image bearers on the earth, he gives them their mission:

And God said, "Let us made a human in our image, by our like-ness, to hold sway over the fish of the sea and the fowl of the heavens and the cattle and the wild beasts and all the crawling things that crawl upon the earth.

And God created the human in his image, in the image of God He created him, male and female He created them. 

And God blessed them and said to them "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and conquer it and hold sway over the fish of the sea and the fowl of the heavens and every beast that crawls upon the earth." (Gen 1:26-28)

Call it the Human Mission- to be all and do all God sent us here to do. And notice- the mission to be fruitful and conquer and hold sway is given both to Adam and to Eve. "And God said to them..." Eve is standing right there when God gives the world over to us. She has a vital role to play; she is a partner in this great adventure. All that human beings were intended to do here on earth- all the creativity and exploration, all the battle and rescue and nurture-we were intended to do together. In fact, not only is Eve needed, but she is desperately needed.

When God creates Eve, he calls her an ezer kenegdo. "It is not good for man to be alone, I shall make him an ezer kenegdo" (Gen 2:18) Hebrew scholar Robert Alter, who has spent years translating the book of Genesis says that this phrase is "notoriously difficult to translate" The various attempts we have in English are "helper" or "companion" or the notorious "help meet"

Why are these translations so incredibly wimpy, boring, flat...disappointing? What is a help meet anyway? What little girl dances through the house singing "One day I shall be a help meet?" Companion? A dog can be a companion. Helper? Sounds like Hamburger Helper. Robert Alter is getting close when he translates it "sustainer beside him."

The word "ezer" is used only twenty other places in the entire Old Testament. And in every other instance the person being described is God Himself, when you need Him to come through for you desperately. 

"There is no one like the God of Jeshurun, who rides on the Heavens to help you...Blessed are you, O Israel! Who is like you, a people saved by the Lord? He is your shield and helper and your glorious sword" (Deut 33:26,29)

"I lift up my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." (Ps 121:1-2)

"May the Lord answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. May He send you help. (Ps 20:1-2) 

"We wait in hope for the Lord, he is our help and our shield." (Ps 33:20)

"O house of Israel, trust in the Lord- he is their help and shield.

O house of Aaron, trust in the Lord- he is their help and shield.

You who fear Him, trust in the Lord-he is their help and shield." (Ps 115:9-11)

Most of the contexts are life and death, by the way, and God is your only hope. Your ezer. If he is not there beside you... you are dead. A better translation therefore of ezer would be "lifesaver". Kenegdo means alongside, or opposite to, a counterpart.

You see, the life God calls us to is not a safe life. Ask Joseph, Abraham, Moses, Deborah, Esther- any of the friends of God in the Old testament. Ask Mary and Lazarus; ask Peter, James, John; ask Priscilla and Aquila- any of the friends of God in the New testament. God calls us to a life involving frequent risks and many dangers. Why else would we need him to our "ezer"? You don't need a lifesaver if your mission is to be a couch potato. You need an "ezer" when your life is in constant danger. 

Picture the character Arwen in the mythic motion picture trilogy The Lord of the Rings. Arwen is a princess, a beautiful and brave elf maiden. She comes into the story in the nick of time to rescue the little hobbit Frodo just as the poisoned wound moving toward his heart is about to claim him. 

ARWEN: He's fading. He's not going to last. We must get him to my father. I've been looking for you for two days. There are five wraiths behind you. Where the other four are, I do not know. 

ARAGORN: Stay with the hobbits. I'll send horses for you. 

ARWEN: I'm the faster rider. I'll take him. 

ARAGORN: The road is too dangerous.

ARWEN: I do not fear them. 

ARAGORN (relinquishing to her, he takes her hand) Arwen, ride hard. Don't look back. 

It is she, not the warrior Aragorn, who rides with glory and speed. She is Frodo's only hope. She is the one entrusted with his life and with him, the future of all Middle Earth. She is his ezer kenegdo. 

That longing in the heart of a woman to share life together as a great adventure- that comes straight from the heart of God, who also longs for this. He does not want to be an option in our lives. He does not want to be an appendage or a tagalong. Neither does any woman. 

God is essential. He wants us to need Him-desperately. Eve is essential. She has an irreplaceable role to play. And so you'll see that women are endowed with fierce devotion, an ability to suffer great hardships, a vision to make the world a better place.

So dear sisters do not be discouraged when you face trials and tribulations of all sorts. You are capable. You have the ability to not only suffer, but survive great hardships. Just don't give up your fierce devotion to God and for your loved Ones- as difficult as reaching out to them may seem. =) love you still, E. 

Thankful

Just realised the key to contentment and happiness is really gratefulness and being thankful. =)


People very seldom say this out but gratitude is a large part of loving others. And it changes people's lives and mine as well. 


Lord, I am so thankful to You "for the love that you keep bringing in my life"


/edit: I just heard some distressing news about a friend and it really goes to show that things are not perfect in this world and... that facades crack when people don't practice gratitude. 







You know my soul
you know everything about me there's to know
you know my heart
how to make me stop & how to make me go
you should know i love everything
about you don't you know

that i'm thankful
for the blessing
and the lessons that i've learned w/you
by my side
that i'm thankful so thankful for the love
that you keep bringing in my life
in my life
Thankful so thankful

You know my thoughts
before i open up my mouth & try to speak
you know my dreams
must be listening when i'm talking in my sleep
i hope you know
i love having you around me don't you know

that i'm thankful for the blessing
and the lessons that i've learned w/you
by my side
that i'm thankful so thankful for the love
that you keep bringing in my life in my life

Don't you know that i'm thankful for the moment
when i'm down you always know how to make me smile
thankful for the joy that your bringing in my life

for the lessons that i've learned
for the trouble i've known
for the heartache & pain
that you've thrown my way
when i didn't think i could go on
but you made me feel strong
with you I am never alone

thankful so thankful

thankful for the blessing
and the lessons that i've learned w/you
by my side
that i'm thankful so thankful for the love
that you keep bringing in my life in my life
thankful so thankful

when i'm down you always know how to make me smile
thankful for the joy that your bringing in my life
thankful so thankful 

A good reminder

Love is not a place
To come and go as we please
It's a house we enter in
Then commit to never leave

So lock the door behind you
Throw away the key
We'll work it out together
Let it bring us to our knees

Chorus:
Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

To some, love is a word
That they can fall into
But when they're falling out
Keeping that word is hard to do

Chorus:
Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

Love will come to save us
If we'll only call
He will ask nothing from us
But demand we give our all

Chorus:
Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

I will fight for you
Would you fight for me?
It's worth fighting for


*snippets of a conversation I had with bestie reminded me of this. And why restoration, healing and love is truly my heart's call. Marriage and family is a battleground- and God demands that we fight for it. <3

I've been walking with a big grin. =)

Worship You - MercyMe from Sarah Beucy on Vimeo.

I promised to help you remember. =P and sadly cause none of us had cameras, I had to go the abstract (copy and paste) way

different as we may be....

^_^

命定 (destined)

Woohoo!!! You go soldier of light! =)


Based off Isaiah 53:5 
"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed."


Translation (Esther's attempt..may have inaccuracies. LOL):


Verse 1:
I know the meaning of my security
I know my life's greatest aim
Even if I have to lay down my life
And be left with terrible scars
I am willing
Even if my head is beset with a crown of thorns
It is the evidence of my love for You


Verse 2:
Becoming afflicted,
I'm also afraid (of this)
Seeing the light that is fading in the distance
My heart is steady
My hand will not let go
I will open a new world


Chorus:
Love or not to love?
I must love all
People are all not perfect
Love or not to love?
I must love all
We are that lowly


A real love
And I will find my way
My true love
Yes I will find my way
Just one love
You are my only way


(verse 1 and 2 again)


Bridge:
Listen to my voice
Touch the palm of my hands
You must believe
There will still be miracles
Oh! I am on either side of you (your left and right)
What are you afraid of?
Do not think (fear) too much,
I AM enough for you.
Do not back away
There's nothing to be afraid
You are my One and only


(Repeat Chorus)

Conversations in the bed chamber

I realise that I'm more and more enthralled with spending time with my King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

So much so, that it has become a thirst in me to MAKE SURE I spend time with Him. 

This is how a conversation I had with God sounds like (the weekend of my retreat on July 7th-9th). I remember saying these words to Him. And how apt that it is from Queen Esther. =)


Proverbs 25:2 "It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter." ♥

I trust You Lord, I trust You with my heart. <3