Awake

Lies breathing, barely.
Thinking. Too much.
Sleep like the mist, elusive.
Sorrowfully, remembers.

Never was supposed to go there.
Why did this topic come up again?
Strange phantoms
Forbidden feelings.

Time.
Passed.
Out.
Travel.

Quietly.
In the dark.
Hopes and dreams.
Reality?

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Beautiful Disaster

"You were fearfully and wonderfully made"

Pardoned by His Grace, We stand justified by faith

It amazes me. Holy Spirit- YOU amaze me. 


I thought that since I'm up on four hours of sleep I might as well use it. lol. 


It's been a long time since I blogged and returned to WHY I started this blog in the first place. 
A lot has happened since then and a lot is happening still. But I will try to walk you through what happened in my life these last 6 months or so. It is a journey I am unlikely to forget easily. 


January
Returned to school from exchange- upset, in reverse cultural shock and missing all the people I had loved so much for the 5 months I was there. 


I was walking around like a zombie- alive but barely breathing and pushing everyone who loved me back home in Singapore away from my inner thoughts and feelings. Sharing was not an option. 


I guess I even pushed you, Holy Spirit, away from me in those times when I needed you the most. 


February
The beginning of healing takes place here. Chinese New Year visitations made me realise that my family was HERE and that they needed me. As much as I needed them. 


I began meeting friends who would help walk me through "coming home".  


SSCG came (back) into my life. You don't know how grateful I am to have had you beside me, Amie. It was a difficult walk out of that entrapment. 


March
Regular meet ups with SSCG started building me up again. Bible studies and worship, fellowship- genuine and sensitive to the Holy Spirit, started filling my wounded heart and lifted me up. 


Thank you Luwin, David, Ryan, Karhik, Tai Wei, Amie, Joan, Ephraim- you don't know how much you truly mean to me. 


April
Easter- and I shared a message at SSCG for the first time. It really made me re-examine what I was living for. I asked God to have His way with me then. 


I started work. And under the pressures of the quick transition (3 days after my final exam in SMU) and crazy home situations, hurts I was struggling to free myself from, surfaced. Or maybe it was God's perfect timing. 


He is the only one who knew how much I could handle. And I had hit the maximum threshold then. 


May
Help at long last. Due to a human mistake, a wrong corner a friend and I took- it resulted in visitations by members of  "the other side".  But repentance and sensitivity to God resulted in a turnaround for me. And the floodgates continued to be unleashed after this. 


When you need help- you GOTTA GO GET IT. lol. I learnt that. And willingness is the beginning of so much more. "Obedience is greater than sacrifice".  


God is good and amazing. 


June
Thank you Holy Spirit! 


Dreams, visions and the gathering of brothers and sisters started off my month. It is the most awesome way to remind me that we're in the midst of a battle. But we're never alone. 


And I have the bestest best random spontaneous adventures partner too. LOL. (besides the Holy Spirit, of course)





Come talk and pray with me. =) and "I thank my God each time I remember you." ^^ so glad that others were blessed just by obeying the Lord to invite them. 


God is truly amazing and worthy of all praise.